by-the-sea.org presents

LOCAL NEWS ALERT


You know you're from the Eastern Shore when.....




• You know that no matter where you want to go, "It's just down the road." - TRUE, since there is only one road that goes anywhere - Lankford Hwy.
• Your nightlife consisted of frequenting "The Candlelight", which is now, ironically, a rehab center.
• You use to take your family to Cherrystone Campground for a real family get-away.
• You know that all signs of life end on, or just before, 10 PM, if it wasn't already over at 9 PM.
• You are related to more than half the town, and the other half are in-laws.
• You think of hoagies and cheesesteaks, but from the pallat's point-of-view, it's merely a concept.
• Your car breaks down outside of town and news of it gets back to your town before you do.
• You know there's going to be problems with the wife when you go to your buddy's house and two of your pals are sitting there in the living room plucking duck feathers with the ceiling fan on.
• You, without thinking, wave to all oncoming traffic.
• You, while thinking, wave one (1) finger to "Come-here"s, three (3), or less, if you know they pay county taxes, a full hand (5), to those you like/and live here... AND both hands (1) if your horny.
• You don't buy all your vegetables at the grocery store.
• When you do go to the grocery store, your neighbor, or buddy, asks you where your pick-up is parked, so he can throw some mellons and corn in the back.
• You can wave the "Rebel" flag, or the "Yankee" flag, but it makes no difference since this part of the United States made "no difference", either, to The North, or The South.
• You can see/hear anything* at the harbor at night.
• You can live without a town government, since everyone in town lives in their own little kingdom.
• You don't put too much effort into hairstyles due to wind and weather.
• The local gas station sells live bloodworms.
• You get up at 5:30 AM and go down to the coffee shop.
• You stop at the local crab house on a Sunday morning, walk in the door, are handed a beer, sit down with the rest of the congregation, and realize that this is a genuine Eastern Shore Prayer Meeting!
• You're on a first name basis with the county sheriff.
• When little smokies are something you serve on special occasions.
• You have the number of the Co-op on speed dial.
• Your radio-preset buttons are all country.
• You always go for the the cheapest room rates when going out of town.
• Your thinking of using the elevator involves a grain truck.
• Your mayor is also your garbage hauler, barber, insurance salesman and minister.
• You know you should listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.
• Your life is dictated by the tides, sunrise/sunset and the fishing and shellfish regulations.
• You call the wrong number and talk to the person for an hour anyway.
• Your excuse for getting out of school is that it snowed.
• You wake up when it's dark and go to bed when it's still light.
• You listen to "Paul Harvey" every day at 5:30 on WESR.
• A crab pot license can be sold for a fair price then change hands four times and back to the original owner with no money exchanged.
• You live for Friday Nights with "The Big Bands" on WESR.
• You don't worry about whether your fastest modem speed is 4.8 Mbps; you're just damn glad you have telephone.
• You know "they can hear you", if you can see the repeater tower, otherwise, NOT!
• You know better than to pay more than 90% for any job because the remaining 10% of the job will be done with beer on a boat.
• You can tell when it's a farmer working late in his field, and not an UFO.
• You know that if your last name is French, you change it to sound Spanish or Italian.
• You know the difference between field corn and sweet corn when they are still on the stalk.
• You know the code names for everyone on the CB.
• You accept all those hard working Mexican immigrants, but can't stand those lazy migrants from Maryland or Jersey.
• You can eat an ear of corn with no utensils in under 20 seconds.
• You wear your boots to church even after marsh-hen hunting.
• It takes 30 seconds to reach your destination and it's clear across town.
• The meaning of 'true love' is that you'll ride on the tractor with him.
• You went to "Roses" for your Saturday shopping since they closed 'K-Mart' which has now been replace with 'ACE'.
• Your main drag in town is two blocks long.
• You know the Exmore Drive-In closed many years ago, but you still do a drive-by, occasionally, just in case it re-opened.
• You first ask your date if she is related.
• You have all your neighbor's house keys.
• You know that before a hurricane your neighbor will bring his chickens to live in your garage for the duration.
• Your teacher in high school is teaching your grand-kids.
• What a great place to live. :)

Visitors: 


Enjoy,
--Ray



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